How to survive a long distance relationship- at uni.

When I came to university in my first year, in fact in my first week, I met a guy and very quickly we started dating. This was great, however when the holidays came we were nearly 100 miles apart. This year he has taken a year in work, while I am in my final year at university, this means we are no longer together at uni either.

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My long distance relationship- When we first met!

So I thought I would share my tips on how to survive a long distance relationship.

1. Do things together.

I know this seems stupid, your miles apart and you can’t do things together, but you can. Watch one of your favorite tv shows while on the phone to each other. Being able to watch something at the same time, and talk about what is going on makes it feel more like you are together.

2. Make sure you have a plan.

This one comes from my housemate, Abi, and I 100% agree with her. Make sure you have a plan of when you can next see each other. If you know that its only 3 weeks until you can be together again it makes saying goodbye all that much easier.

3. Do something special.

Whenever my boyfriend and I get together we try and make it special so we will go out for a meal or go on a date night. It means that you have a memory of the time you spent together rather than spending your precious time just sat in your bedroom.

4. Talk.

Talk about everything, have you had a bad day? Do you miss each other? The simple things like that can be wonderful to hear when your apart but you also need to talk about the difficult things. How will the relationship work long distance? Are you struggling or always arguing? You need to confide in each other.

5. Skype.

If your boyfriend doesn’t live in the middle of no-where with shockingly bad internet conenction then you may want to download Skype. The Video software allows you to see and talk to each other with the use of your webcams. I have known couples who talk to each other via Skype while doing uni work or on in the background for long periods of time.

6. 101 Questions

When you run out of things to say, this happens when everyday is ‘wrote more of my essay’ then ask each other questions. This website has 100 questions to ask each other http://www.everydaybetterliving.com/love_danger_signs/100_questions.html   great for when you cant think of what to say, and you could learn more about your relationship.

7.Gifts.

This isn’t something you have to do by any stretch of the imagination, but imagine if you were stressed about your assignment and a bunch of flowers turned up at your door. Or even a pizza!!

One of my friends has a boyfriend who will read through her work, make her dinner and look after her when she is stressed. This is harder when you are far apart but a little token to show you care can mean all the difference.

8. Make good friends.

I know you expected all of this list to be about your partner but some of the best ways to survive a long distance relationship is to have amazing friends. You need people who you can go to when your upset, angry or just a bit frustrated with life. Your friends will help you become happy and excited about the smallest things. My friends are amazing and we help each other through every stress and strain of a LDR.

9.Let your self be upset.

It’s ok to become upset by the little things. On the second night of freshers this year I ended up in floods of tears for the whole night for no reason what so ever apart from that I was getting used to uni without him. The next day I was fine!

10. Just relax.

Although being in a long distance relationship can be difficult and I don’t think that you should go into it lightly without talking through your parameters and thoughts behind your relationship. When your in the relationship you need to relax a little. Don’t panic over every little thing, if your meant to be together you will be, if not then you know it.

Are you in a long distance relationship?   What are your tips for coping.

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The Big V

Well, It’s that time of year again. The time when singletons are made to feel pathetic and Couples are forced to buy gifts, Yes Valentines day!

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I have to admit I have a love/ hate relationship with Valentines day. I have fond memories of being at school and people passing around cards, and I love an excuse to go out and do something special with my boyfriend. But I also feel like doing something special on one day because your told your meant to is no where near as special as just randomly celebrating you love with each other. And do you want to know my biggest hate of all?

Every restaurant known to man, will have the tiniest menu at prices triple the normal value, and there restaurant will be packed, making your romantic night feel slightly less romantic as you can hear the people next to you talking. So I have tried to come up with some ideas of how to celebrate without needing a new student loan!

  1. Why Thursday?

Unless you have a real attachment to February 14th there is no need to actually stick to that day. Like I said earlier the prices of food and drink are raised on Valentines day, so why not go out on the Wednesday, or even the week after. You will still have a great night out but the likelihood is you will have a larger menu to choose from and it will be cheaper.

  1. Cook.

I know cooking can seem super boring but if you and your lover (that word makes me cringe!) work together to create a meal, it can be great fun as well as really tasty. You will also be saving loads of money, although you will have to face the washing up!

  1. Takeaway

If your a good student who doens’t eat takeaways very often (or not.) this can be a nice treat. Last year my boyfriend and I had a lovely night watching a film and eating from our favorite takeaway.

  1. Meals for 2

I swear every supermarket does those dine for 2 people deals nowadays. You normally get a main course, side dish, pudding and a bottle of wine. They tend to be £5-£10, you normally can just whack them in the oven, or microwave and they do all the work on their own. I admit I have had a few of the tesco’s ones and they are devine!

  1. Cinema

My final idea is pretty simple don’t go out for a meal, why not just go to the cinema or another date night favorite. It will be loads cheaper.

  1. One extra!

My boyfriend and I have decided no presents, it is likely to save us both a fair amount and we don’t have loads to through around at the moment.

I hope you enjoy Valentines day weather your single or coupled up!

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P.s. Split the Bills code: LE959

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Year one review: Moving in

This blog post comes with a slight disclaimer, no it doens’t contain sexual content, however it does contain information about drunken behaviour. Freshers week is a little blurry in my mind so this post may not always make sense. Hope you enjoy though. Image

The morning of the 24th September 2011 will always be a memorable one, its the day I left my family home and moved into my university halls. I remember packing up all my belongings I wanted to take. It turns out I didn’t take enough clothes but I guess I had to go there to work it out.

Packing everything into the car, we could barely fit my family and my belongings. Once we had completed the tetras game of getting everything into the car we started to drive away.

Slowly pulling out of the drive at my house, it seemed so strange to watch my house get smaller the same way it always had done, but this was so different. I wouldn’t be returning to the home. My Mum would come back the next day and carry on living her life while I was living else where.

Opening the door to my flat the new key and fob in my hand I was met by a long corridor 7 doors came off it. The first room on the right, E, that was mine. The corridor was filled with peoples belongings, everyone was trying to fit their life into a small room. The room in which a new life would begin.

After I had moved everything in, although not everything in place, my Mum and step dad left. They were staying in hotel in the center of town, it meant that they were close for my first night. If anything went wrong then they could help me, they were my safety net. Once they have left I went into the kitchen where some of my flat mates and some other people were playing drinking games. Some of the other people turned out to be my closest friend during the following year. After a number of drinking games we all decided it was time to get ready for going out.

Getting ready felt like the sort of thing you would see in a film. We had music playing in our corridor from one of my flat mates room. Three of us were running in and out of our room running into the kitchen to make our Pot Noodles. (Not the best idea for day 1 going drinking!)

While we were getting ready there was a knock at the door. I think I will always remember this moment. I was doing my makeup, Hannah was getting ready and Abi was on the phone. Abi was the one to answer the door, as I was next to the door I could hear the voices of a big group.

I walked out of my room to see the doorway filled with a group of guys. I didn’t know it at the time, but one of those guys. The one at the back, dark brown hair and a cheeky smile on his face. He wasn’t the first guy I saw in the group but by the end of the year, I would be dating him, in fact by the end of the year I would be in love with that guy.

Are rom-coms as bad as porn?

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A news report today talked about how teenagers easy access to porn has warped the way they think about a healthy sexual relationship. This got me thinking, don’t Romantic comedies do the same?

The truth is I’ve been watching romantic films since I was a child. As a toddler Cinderella was the only film I would watch, as I got older it turned into West Side Story and then the Notebook. All through my life I have been shown these perfect relationships where the guys sweep in and change her life. Of course this has affected me.

Unlike porn It hasn’t made me think that I can have random sex anywhere, that lasts forever, in fact it has almost done the opposite. All these Rom-Coms have given me an unnatural view on how guys really act, and what a healthy relationship is like. These films depict men who win over their love with some huge gesture, they fall in love, he treats her like a princess and they never argue. I guess deep down I always expected some guy to come along with some cheesy line buy me flowers and chocolate and we would live together happily ever after.

The thing is, I love my boyfriend and I feel like my relationship is great but I sometimes find myself getting annoyed because he isn’t a Hugh Grant character. I know I shouldn’t expect him to be perfect, I know i’m not! But I think every girl wishes that Noah would come into her life, sweep her off her feet and live happily ever after.

Just like porn, Rom-Coms have given me this idolized version of reality. I guess one  of the main problems is that while men are seeing a reality where sex is the main object; Women are seeing a world where romance is key. Can we really say that either of these worlds are true representation of a relationship?